Making Peace

When you’re young, it’s so easy to idolize. To look up and expect your favorite actors or muscians to forever be perfect.

Then, we grow up. We see them for the flawed humans that they are. Sometimes that’s an easy enough thing. Other times, it’s not. And it’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay to be upset by their lifestyle or choices. Those are valid feelings and you should not be ashamed to feel them. Not ever. And before you ask, this isn’t specific to anything. This can apply to any one member or the group as a whole. I know I’ve been transparent about struggling with this in the past and I know I can’t be alone in this. I guess that’s why I’m writing this, to let you know that no matter what or who has caused you to feel this way that it’s okay. I want you to know dear reader, that you’re not alone and that your feelings are valid.

But for those who may not feel like this, and who never have, I write this also to say that you should let those who do feel like this, feel this way. Don’t attack them. Don’t say harsh things or write them off. Those people are feeling conflicted enough as it is. Of course they are. Because no one wants to feel like this. No one wants to be angry or sad or disappointed by someone they’ve loved as a fan of a big portion of their lives. Have empathy. Try to understand. I’ve lost friends because I’ve had these feelings over the years – which in a way tells me they were never my friends in a real sense to begin with, but that loss still feels the same. That hurt feels the same, even if you’re mourning the friendships you thought you had instead.

I write this also, to say it’s okay if you find a way to make peace with whatever it is you’re feeling. This group is five and will always be five at their core. So no matter what member has you feeling this way (as they all have their flaws, all of them.) if you find a way to separate that from the art and the show, that’s okay too. Everyone processes their feelings differently. There will never be anything wrong with that. There’s no set path or road. I know I’ve found my ways to separate it. Maybe fandom is my way of coping with a cruel world, and that’s okay. Life is short, find the joy wherever and however you can.

It’s a hard thing, growing up, seeing the reality behind the image. Sometimes the reality is better, sometimes it’s not.

Just know you’re not alone.