Let’s Hear It For The Boys! (Fandom Life: Being a Male Fan in a Female Fandom)

In one of my recent posts, I talked about fans, favorites, and what they say about you.

One thing that did slip my mind though was another faction I think we all often forget. And when they kindly pointed it out to me and it inspired this post. What about the men in this fandom? It’s not what immediately comes to mind for most of us, stereotypical as it is. When you think of Backstreet Boys, you think of their massive female following. That’s just a fact. I know several myself and from a female perspective, I always enjoy their view. But I also knew when I got this idea that I needed their thoughts again. And the response was awesome! Many of you shared your stories and while I couldn’t include all of them here for fear of this post getting too long, I appreciate each and every one of you who reached out to me. Because I couldn’t do this post without it, how could I? I’m not a guy so I can’t picture what it must be like to be the minority in the BSB fandom world.

I’m from Kurdistan, Iraq and I’m 17 years old. I’ve been a fan of Backstreet Boys for nearly 8 years. I adore their music. They’re my reason to never stop and keep believing.

– Mohamad Shaxi

So let’s talk about what people assume about men in this fandom before I move forward.

Most assume if they see a guy at a concert/afterparty, they’re there to…

• Fulfill a promise to a girlfriend/wife
• Get laid

If they hear a guy say he’s a BSB fan they’re…

• Joking
• Trying to get a girl
• Weird

 

Is it fair? Not really. Why can’t guys appreciate harmonic melodies as beautiful as the ones that these five men can produce? There were plenty of male fans for the Beach Boys. Music is music, isn’t yet? Yet again, as a female fan myself, I sometimes make these assumptions without realizing it. Society has conditioned us to think that only women can be fans of a boyband, similar to how it’s a Boys Club when it comes to sports. We need to open our minds up more, honestly.I know I plan to do so. Like I said, I’m just as guilty as anyone and on my own blog!

This perspective of course, also changes depending on your culture. Just like how when the US tended to forget the Boys existed. Or when the US liked to pretend NSYNC was bigger when the rest of the world knew better. Where you live absolutely has an influence on your perspective, even in something as “trivial” as fan culture.

Like this fan who originally lived in India but has been here in the US for the past few years, and saw the differences.

People don’t judge back home on listening to BSB like here in the US. Growing up i eventually learned that this is the case around these places, but i always take pride in BSB fan. I saw them first at 2010 in India when they came here for an event during “This is US” era.

The one good thing from being a minority, it gets little easier as the guys can easily recognize us in Vegas from the crowd. Brian & AJ did noticed me from the crowd twice on Vegas with my wife and once I took my kid who was four, once as well. But truth to be told, it is little embarrassing to be seen as the “guy” among the bunch of girls. I was at an after party in Vegas and Kevin was literally ten meters away but so as all the screaming girls and i was the only guy literally trying to get a glimpse of him. I gave up and stayed back as i had to literally push them away to get near him. I try to not care about what others say but then it is not easy to be like that and not care so it was like let them have their fun and let me just stay away. But thankfully I met them at TRL where I traveled to NY from Milwaukee in hopes they were coming.

– Deepak

And they tend to have a different view purely because their gender allows them to. While a lot of us (especially in the 90s when the majority of us were teenagers) were a bit blinded by how good looking the Boys were and still are today, many male fans were not. Of course we always appreciated the music as well, but it may not have been the original thing to suck us into our fabulous fandom like it might’ve been for them. I’ve also noticed that often times the guys analyze the music a lot deeper, generally speaking.

Being a male fan is interesting because I was never really teased or anything but a good handful of my friends thought it was funny yet endearing about how much I really fought for them. I like to think more about the story about what the song is trying to say or the musical nerdy stuff about the intricacies about the vocals or instrumentals or even the placement of the song in the track-list.

– Aleck ( @heyyhermano )

 

Unfortunately, it’s not always good to be the minority. People judge, and it’s a shame. Cause I’d love to have as many friends as possible in this fandom, including the guys! If my guy friends could appreciate the Boys instead of teasing me (constantly) about it, I’d be thrilled! Or if my future husband was as big a fan as I was. As it is, my best hope is that he’ll – whenever I meet him, indulge my BSB tendencies.

I’ve been a hardcore fan since I heard “Quit Playing Games” while working at my Uncle’s print shop. I had to have been about 11 years old. It’s been rough being a male fan. I was kind of a “closet fan” up until my mid 20’s because of the obvious negativity that came from being a fan, especially a straight, male fan. But I’ve always lived my life through their music, especially following in the way Brian has always been.

If it wasn’t for them (BSB), I wouldn’t be who I am today. I’ve never been a guy to mistreat women, always looking to be a gentleman. That’s much to credit to my faith but also Backstreet. As a male fan, not only have I received negativity from non-fans or haters, but I’ve also received plenty from female fans. I get perceived for only being a fan to get girls. Now that I’m married, my wife has come to the Vegas residency with me and will come to all future BSB events so it shouldn’t be a problem anymore. But just watching the female fans over the years has been interesting. Only a small percentage have accepted me (if that makes sense).

– Rob ( @rgl211 )

 

But as with all of us, BSB can and has brought blessings. I know many of us have made lifelong friendships because of this group – myself included. I know it’s helped lead us to goals we may never have thought possible. In some cases, many fans have met their loves of their lives all because they were fans of BSB. And I can’t think of anything more beautiful, can you?

Being a BSB fan has been rewarding most of the 23 years since l first heard ALAYLM.

I met my now wife Natalia at BSB’s soundcheck in Auckland 2015, got married April 2018. Natalia is a Brian fan too so we are two peas in a pod.

– Rocky ( @lilkidnicky )

So yes, the majority of BSB fans are female. But at the same time, make sure you get to know the men you might see on cruises, afterparties, VIPs and concerts. Maybe they’re not just there to support their significant other. Maybe they’re just as hardcore a fan of you and you may not even know it! Who knows? You might just make a new friendship you’ll treasure for years to come. Hey, maybe it could be more. You never know! What we do know, is if we don’t make sure to make room for the men in this fandom, we could really be missing out. So don’t judge, don’t assume!

Fellas, this fandom is…Incomplete without you guys!